Santa: Gharkasaarakeemtisamaanchhupakerakh do, mere dost aarahehain.
Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost churalengey?
Santa: Nahin, pehchanlengey.
Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators
A sweet girl goes to Banta's shop and said: Mujhe underwear dikhao.
Banta sharmate hue: Aajpehankarnahinaaya.
Translation from hindi to english, "Khushike mare uskichaatiphoolgayi".
Santa: Due to happiness, his chest became breast.
How did santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.
Santa: I have swallowed a kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
Santa kishaadiek nurse se hogayi.
Banta: Aursanta, kaisinibhrahihai?
Santa: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak sister nakaho, bolti hi nahi.
In a train compartment husband: Darling, mujhe to tumhariaatma se pyarhai, tumharejismkimujhe koi chahnahin. Main tumhariroohkochahtahoon, tumharashareer to main kuttonkodaaldoon.
Banta sitting on upper berth says: BOW BOW
Girl: Will u marry me?
Santa: No, humareyahanshaadisirf relatives mein hi hotihai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aurBhaiya ne Bhabhi se
Santa: Bhagwane suit badasohnapayahai.
Jeeto: Thank u G
Santa: Lipstick badisohnilaayiaa.
Jeeto: Thank u G.
Santa: Shingaar v sohnakitaaaa.
Jeeto: Thank u G
Santa: Par sohnipher v nahilagdi...
Santa ne apnenawenjammebachche nu pakdeya per usne Santa tesussukarta.
Santa to nurse: Bibi eh piece leak kardahaibadal k le aa..!
Ekbaar Santa Gangubaikegharjaatahaiaurdarwaza knock kartahai.
Gangubai: Kaun ?
Santa: Main !
Gangubai: Main kaun?
Santa: TuGangubai
Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA
Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It’s ****. Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394.
Nurse came out with the newbornkid, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing the kid he shouted, BETA hua BETA. She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool, It’s a gal
Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."
Banta pedpechada to uparbaitheybandar ne poocha: Uparkyonaaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aamkapedhai.
Banta: Patahai, apple saathlayahoon.
Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.
Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiyatha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya.
Santa: Sir hunmeri salary wadadeyo, meravyahhogayahai.
Boss: Factory de baharhon wale hadseyaanlayi factory jimmevarnahinhundi.
Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mothertongue.?
Santa: Very long...!
Santa kebagichemeinbahutsareped - paudhethay, Santa naukarko bola ped-paudhonkopani dal.
Naukar: Sahabbaarishhorahihai.
Santa: Abe to Chatrileke dal.
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
Santa: Yaarmeinapni girlfriend nu giftdenahai, kidevan?
Banta: Gold ring de de.
Santa: Koi vadicheez das yaar.
Banta: Tan fer MRF da tyre de de.
Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaamptekyonho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meribiwilekarbhaaggayatha, harbaarlagtahaijaiseuskovapaskarneaayahai.
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else?
Santa waiting at bus stop in UK along with 3 women.
When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more, no more
Santa: SaaleyaMorniyacharlaiyan, meriwari no more.
Santa: Itnekam marks? Do thappadmarnechahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalomaine us saale master kagharbhidekhrakhahai.
Pappu was writing his father's name on a 1000 Watt bulb.
Santa asked him: What are you doing?
Pappu: Aapkanaamroshankarrahahoon.
An englishman and santa inside the toilet. Englishman: Good evening, how do u do? Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!
Santa to Pappu: Where's Sukhna Lake?
Pappu: Patanahi.
Santa: Kabhighar se bhiniklakaro.
Pappu: Who's Banta?
Santa: Patanai.
Pappu: Kabhighar me bhirahakaro.
Jeeto yelled at santa: U'regonnab really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!
Santa: Make up ur mind, which one is it gonna be!
Santa went to see a gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time santa asks: "behenji, tusinkinnebehen-bhaiho?" Girl: "Vaisetaan 3 si, par hun 4 hogaye."
Santa: Do you know English?
Banta: Yes
Santa: Ok! Then tell what is the opposite of NAAG PANCHAMI?
Banta: So simple Yaar... NAAG DO NOT PUNCH ME.
Santa apni GF ko I love u kehtaaurgirjata.
Girl: Yehkyakarraheho?
Santa : I am falling in love.
Lady doctor: tum rozsubah clinic kebaharkhadehokaraurtokokyonghurteho?
Santa: jiaap hi ne baharlikhahai "aurtonkodekhnekasamaysubah 10 se 12".
Masterji: kal school kyunahiaaya.
Santa: Girgayatha or lag gayi.
Masterji: kahangire, kahanlagi?
Santa: Takiyepegirathaaur AANKH lag gayi..
Santa &banta sending sms 2 their gfs.Santa:maitere mobile se apnigfkosmsbhejudekhtehainkyakahtihai? Banta: No, agar usne handwriting pehchan li to...?
Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..
Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where..
Santa's urine report got exchanged with a ladies pregnancy report.
Dr. told santa, "you are pregnant".
Angry santa shouts at wife, "Maine pehle hi kahatha, mujheuparrehne de".
Santa and Banta went for a drive.
Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?
Banta puts his head out & says "Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!"
Santa (on phone): Maa, khushkhabrihai!
Maa: Bolo beta.
Santa: Hum, 2 se 3 hogaye.
Maa: Badhaiho, ladkahuayaladki.
Santa: Na ladka, naladki. Maine doosrishaadikarli.
Santa was inserting dog's tail into pipe.
Banta: Oye, kuttekidumkabhiseedhinahihoti.
Santa: Idiot, main to pipe bendkarrahahoon.
Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying furiously...
Finally, santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again.
Why did santa keep the door open while bathing?
Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.
Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home. The stearing, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.
After sometime he calls again: I am coming, earlier I sat on the back seat.
History teacher asked Santa: Name kalidas's brother who was a shoemaker.
Santa: Adidas
Santa giving exam while standing at the door.
A man asked "Why are you standing at the door?"
Santa: "Idiot, I am giving entrance test."
Santa: Mom, last night when I opened the toilet door, the light went on itself.
Mother: Idiot, you again peed in the refrigerator!
Santa's shayari: Kuttamarrgayarazaivich, main pagalhogayaterijudaivich, fernailtemachcharbehnahisakda, main terebinahunrehnahisakda.
Santa: Bhaisahab time kyahua?
Man: Sham ke 6 bajehain!
Santa: Sala, subah se pooch rahahoon, sab alagalag time batarahehain.
Teacher to santa: where were you born?
Santa: Thiruvananthapuram
Teacher: can u spell it?
Santa (after thinking for some time): I think I was born in GOA.
Santa: "God, if you give me 100 rupees, I will donate 50 rupees in temple".
(After waliking some distance, he finds a 50 rupee note)
Santa: "Shame on you God, you don't even trust me a little? You have already taken your share!"
Santa looking at himself in the mirror, "I have seen this man somewhere".
After half an hour, "Oh, its the same man, who married my wife."
While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole.
Banta: R u ok?
Santa: Yeah!
Banta: Did u break anything?
Santa: No, there's nothing down here.
Santa: Mein tere 64 de 64 dandtodd dene hai.
Ikhoraadmi ne kehasanta 64 nahi 32 Dandhundene.
Santa: Meinupatta se tu vi bolega is layitere vi gin laye ne.
Master: Mein tenukuttete essay likhan nu
kehasi, Likhkekyunahiliyanda ?
Santa: Ki karda master g,
jidan he meinkuttete Pen rakhia oh pajgeya!!!
Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.
Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'
Don’t rush in love for it never runs out. Let love be the one to knock at your door, so by the time you start to fall, you know that your feeling is for sure.
What’s missing in H__RT? EA or U? Pick EA & you’ll get a heart! If u pick U, you’ll get hurt! I'd pick U coz it's better to get hurt than hv a heart without U.
To live this life I need a heartbeat, to have a heartbeat I need a heart, to have a heart I need happiness and to have happiness I need you!
I have liked many but loved very few yet no one has been as sweet as you. I'd stand & wait in the world's longest queue just 4 the pleasure of a moment with u.
Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!
How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chahhai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahihaiji, tainuhai ta lipatja...
Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.
Frog: Tumharepaasdimaagnahinhai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahinhai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahinhai& jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karnewaalikyabaatthi.?
Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meribiwibahutpareshankartihai, koi upaybatao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaayhota to main sadhu kyunbanta?
Santa: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What’s he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!
Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcozhaven’t u heard train is coming on platform.
Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife konahibolnamein use surprise dunga!
Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!
Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.
Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.
Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!
Banta: Oh! That’s terrible.
Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions
Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhiyabhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhiyabhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"
Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.
Pappu: Life imprisonment!
Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, voayega!
Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi faraknahin penda. Pehlebhi 100 kabharwatathaabbhi 100 kabharwatahoon."
Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.
Banta: Why is the Police nicknamed "The heart of the country"?
Santa: It beats, beats, beats.
Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.
Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.
Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start?
Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.
Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"
